5

5- Today I am thankful for my Husband. We eloped at the old age of 18, I'm sure people thought we wouldn't make it but I knew I wanted to be with him forever after dating him for just a few months. He has put up with me for 11 years and I am so happy he still loves me!

4

4- I am thankful for my hubbys job and the lifestyle it provides.

Perspective

This is just a personal rant. For a long time now I have had these thought floating in my head and I need them out, so here it goes. I follow an Autism blogger. She has a daughter who is just a year younger than Daniel, she is a very popular blogger, and has even met with the President. Now before I start I don't mean to offend, and I don't want to minimize anyone's situation, we are all fighting our own battles but sometimes I feel like I was handed a larger one. She blogs about all the things her girl struggles with and all the new achievements. I love reading it and can almost always relate to what she is going through. However lately I feel as though I always find myself thinking if he only had Autism it wouldn't be so hard, or if it was only FA, but he has both and together it is hard. Why does my boy have to struggle both physically and mentally? In a way Autism has sheltered him from the stares and comments of others so he has been oblivious about what others think of him. However he could talk to them and make friends easier if he wasn't Autistic. I keep thinking, this blogger needs to quit whinnying that her kid is Autistic, because at least that's all she is. Mine struggles with everything, physically, emotionally, and academically. I'm not trying to whine and I don't mean to complain I just feel like sometimes Daniel was given more than he should have to endure, I know he will come out stronger and an amazing person but it's hard to watch. And because the worst thing wrong is not autism, it's a life shortening disease, it makes it hard to read her blog. As his mother I want to protect him, to take away his pain, to understand how he feels, to change his condition, to relieve the heart aches, and to ease his worried mind, but I can't and it hurts. I am getting just a small glimpse of what our Heavenly Father must have felt watching his son suffer, and watching us struggle through life. He wants to bless us, he wants to help us, but sometimes he must let us struggle and hurt so we can become stronger, better, and painfully grow into what he wants us to be.

Number 3

3. Daniels best friend. Because my boy hasn't had a best friend since he started school. I am so thankful for the kindness he is shown by that boy. Because of him other boys accept Daniel and help him, and they all enjoy just hanging out and talking about comics, or watching cartoons.

Number two

Today I am thankful for my religion. It is what makes me who I am today and gives me strength.

Number One

I am Thankful for my Family. Both my kids and husband and my extended Family. I am blessed with a large family, since there are 10 kids in my family and 9 in Beau's family. I am thankful for every single one of them.

Staying Strong

You know when you look at that mom you see every week, or day, the one with the child who has special needs? And when you see her you always think, wow, she is amazing, she is so strong, she is so much better than me. I don't know how she does it. Well let me tell you a secret, we don't feel strong, we don't feel amazing, and we don't feel better than you. Most of the time we are tired, we are wondering how we have held on as long as we have, but mostly we know we have made it because we have help. We have people to lean on, and friends who care, and we have prayer. I just realized I am one of those women, I didn't see it before but now that I realize people are constantly watching me, I realized I am that woman, who people think is strong and amazing. We are only strong because if you aren't you wouldn't survive, we are strong for our children, to make sure we don't show them we are afraid. I act strong so Daniel doesn't know that every time he goes to school I pray they take care of him, and treat him with kindness. That I will see him at the end of the day smiling and happy. That when the phone rings and it's the school that it isn't the nurse telling me it's an emergency. I can relate to the mom in this video so much. This is what we are going through. Click the link and watch it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBKEz952RY4&feature=player_embedded Thursday we are doing a wheel chair fitting for Daniel. I am excited and sad all at the same time. I am however trying to stay positive, by focusing on how it will help Daniel. Instead of how he is losing his ability to walk and gets tired much faster. On another note, I have decided to get into extremely good shape so that I will be able to assist Daniel more even as he gets bigger. Which I guess means I'm getting both physically and emotionally stronger, which are both good things.